Use It or Lose It: Menopause, Sexual Wellness & Why Pleasure Still Belongs to You

You’ve heard the phrase before—“Use it or lose it.” And when it comes to your sexual wellness during and after menopause, it’s more than just a cheeky saying. It’s real talk about your body, your health, and your right to pleasure.

Let’s be clear: menopause is not the end of your sexuality. But it is a turning point.  One that calls for attention, intention, and yes, a little action.

What Happens During Menopause?

During menopause, estrogen levels drop. That shift can lead to thinning vaginal walls, decreased lubrication, and reduced elasticity, all of which can make sex uncomfortable or even painful. Add in fatigue, mood swings, and body changes, and it’s easy to see why intimacy may take a backseat.

But here’s the thing: avoiding sexual activity entirely can actually make these symptoms worse.

Why “Using It” Matters

Staying sexually active—whether with a partner or on your own—helps maintain blood flow, elasticity, and tissue health in the vaginal area. It keeps the muscles engaged, the nerves stimulated, and the body responsive.

Think of it as a gentle form of physical therapy with seriously pleasurable side effects.

Regular sexual activity (or masturbation) can:

• Improve vaginal lubrication and elasticity
• Reduce discomfort or pain during sex
• Boost your mood and relieve stress
• Help with sleep and overall mental health
• Reconnect you with your body and pleasure

And no, it’s not just about “keeping things working.” It’s about staying in touch with your sensual self. You still deserve pleasure, intimacy, and satisfaction, even (especially!) if the world doesn’t talk about it enough.

Masturbation Is Not Plan B—It’s Self-Care

Let’s ditch the shame and stigma: solo sex is not a fallback option. It’s an essential form of self-connection. Masturbation lets you explore what feels good now, as your body changes. It gives you a safe, no-pressure way to maintain vaginal health and keep your libido engaged.

Use a vibrator. Use your hand. Use lube (lots of it—hydration is your friend!). Use what works for you.

This isn’t about performance. It’s about staying empowered in your body, claiming your pleasure, and refusing to let menopause define your sexuality.

This Chapter Is Yours to Write

Menopause may change things, but it doesn’t cancel your desire, your sensuality, or your right to enjoy intimacy. Whether you’re partnered or solo, rekindling old flames or discovering new ones, staying sexually active is a powerful way to stay connected to your health and happiness.

So yes, use it. Use your body, your voice, your pleasure, and your power. You haven’t lost anything. You’re just learning how to claim it in a new, bolder way.